“By the time I get home, get the kids sorted out and cook for the family, I’m spent. There’s no time to do anything for me. I can never do anything for me.”
“There just aren’t enough hours in a day!"
“I never have time for me. I am so overwhelmed. “
“How can I get 3 additional hours in a day? I can’t seem to finish anything in a day.”
“I’m so tired; I feel like I am handling the domestic affairs, balancing my marriage, taking care of everyone else but I am left out.”
Do you find this familiar? Do you find yourself uttering these questions every so often?
The fact that many women including many of my clients feel this way is not uncommon. They find themselves frustrated, overwhelmed, tired, exhausted, feeling overworked, and not enjoying anything they are doing right now.
The light bulb went off on Palm Sunday when my sister and I were having the same conversation in the same vein; listening to her echo the same words— “I’m so tired, by the time I’m done fixing up the house and prepping meals for the week, I’m done! I haven’t even done what I want to do. How do I get around that?”
Here are 3 key pointers that might support you to reclaim some of your "me" time.
Make Yourself a Priority
For what it’s worth, we all have the same number of hours—24 hours; what you do with your 24 hours is up to you. There is no written, hard fast rule that states, you must take care of the whole family first and then take care of yourself afterwards? You are at liberty to pick whatever hour (s) you choose during the day to refill your own cup.
Many of you have set invisible and unspoken, yet understood priorities on your to do (to care of) list. You simply know within you that you must slot in 2 hours for meal prep, an hour for laundry for the family, 2 hours to do homework with the kids and whatever else yet you do not reserve a time slot for yourself and when you do, that time slot is always optional. It’s the one that comes off the table first when something needs to be re-organized.
Imagine an 8-ounce cup holds your energy level (mental/physical/spiritual); it automatically replenishes up to 4 ounces overnight when you sleep. When you begin your day with your allotted 4 ounces and do not take time for yourself to continuously top up your cup; by the end of the day you are more than likely running on empty or close to it, and we know how a car running on empty runs—at a standstill, it goes nowhere.
Adopt and cultivate the habit of periodically refilling your cup during the day so that your cup is completely full when you get your 4-ounce bonus overnight. This way, others are benefiting from the overflow of your cup whilst you still have the energy and reserve for you.
Stop trying to be “Super Woman”
This is a big fallacy many, many women fall into. Responding to work emails on your mobile phone, turning over the steak on the stove, keeping an eye on the 2-year-old that’s now yanking at the drapes, whilst thinking about how to make the social activities for the weekend work out after the ballet class for your little girl. STOP! You are super at what you do, yes, but you are wearing yourself out. You are the one that usually finds yourself overworked, overly committed, and overwhelmed. Slow down! Take a breather! And ask yourself, What’s important at this moment? This will help give you some space to be clear on what ought to be your priority and how to go about with what’s next.
Organize Your Mind and Start Learning to say “No”
Organizing is not just about your physical space even though it is correlated to your mental space which I find to be especially true after a session of de-cluttering – I digress; It’s also about mentally and emotionally organizing yourself. When you slow down, get clear, and settled within yourself, it’s much easier to recognize your true priorities.
When you can identify your true priorities, you can do regular check-ins with yourself to see if you are ‘living in accordance with your priorities’. You’ll get to notice more clearly and deal with the inner critics that come up accusing you of not doing enough or the right things in the right order. You’ll get yourself in the driver’s seat cruising along at the speed which you set.
When you start getting clear on what your true priorities are, you must start learning and exercising the word “no” – there is so much power packed in the word No. It means you are choosing to value your time, your energy, and self and stop feeling like you are missing out.
Bonus for You
Within any given 24 hours - Acknowledge yourself! Acknowledge yourself!! Acknowledge yourself!!!
Start recognizing and being ok with saying I know I did a good job, kudos to me. Start building up that internal validation instead of waiting for someone else to pat you on the back. Be your own cheerleader.
There are many ways we can spend these 24 hours, if you get clear, you have plenty of time and energy.
If you are feeling like you want some support around getting you out of the time capsule, schedule a free breakthrough call with me.