Doing What You Want or What you Have to?

September 27, 2017

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 Beaming and damn near skipping through the hallways, these 2 older women I'd worked with almost passed by me. Must be one of those mornings.  One seemed eager to share her state with me. After all, she'd always talked about what a good boss I was to her so she had to share this with me first hand, she said.



She walked me to her cubicle and hanging on her wall was a calendar with X's all over and she flipped the calendar over 3 months and a big smiley face on August 31st. "I'm retiring, Bisi!' she exclaimed.


“How wonderful, congratulations!” I said to her.  Now, I've spoken to quite a number of people whom have retired including my parents and they all had one plan or another to keep them going so I asked, we will call her Deidre - "What are you going to do? Do you have any plans?"


Deidre cocked her head to the left and looked me directly in the eye, with a smirk on her face that I couldn't particularly read and said "Oh, I am going to Move!!!!! I am getting out of here!" Out of where I asked, New Jersey? "Yes, "she continued whilst on cloud nine.


"I'm moving to North Carolina." 

"Oh, you have family there?" I asked

"Oh no, they are here but  I hate the cold, I hate winter, I can't stand it!  I’ve been waiting to move forever, but my job has always been here."





I chuckled at first because I'd heard this kind of reaction to New Jersey before so then I asked where she was before New Jersey. "I've been here 65 years of my life!!" Stopped me cold in my tracks yet trying to contain any judgement that was already forming in my head. 



Fast forward, the second lady, Anne was still with us beaming also, “come over to my desk Bisi.” 


She flips her calendar 6 months over to November -"here's my date! I'm so excited, been working here 32 years ..."


"Congratulations! What are your plans? Are you moving as well? Travelling? " And her response also stopped me in my tracks.



"Well, no, I’m not moving but I am looking forward to that next day after my last day of work"


I don't understand I said.


She says, I can't wait to wake up and finally do what I want to do instead of what I have to do!




After a bit more pep talk, I went back to my office in a daze.


Wait 65 years to move to a location that you want?

Wait 35 years of working to do what you want vs. what you have to?


How do you get stuck in a place or state (mental or physical) that you hate for 65 years of your life (40+ years of adulthood) ?




When do you begin to do things you want to do as opposed to things you have to?


There's more to life and you and I know it as well as these 2 ladies; how we go about being that person who does what we desire is the million dollar question.


This is why I have created The FINISH STRONG Group Coaching Program to help you quit leaving your life to chance and start taking responsibility for your self and actions and begin living the life you desire.


Learn more and Join the program by visiting


P.S. Want to surround yourself with people that are breaking free and living life fearlessly? Join my group at

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