Imagine you are at an International Street Festival with hundreds of people dancing, eating, parading, and vendors conducting one transaction or another with potential customers and then your eye catches a pair of unique, right sized, green colored earrings. You know immediately these are the earrings you have been looking for and now they are here, right in front of you. One of a kind, a perfect match for you. You drag your friend to the booth to check out the pair and you try them on. They fit like a glove and look nothing short of stunning on you and well within your budget – they are $15.
What’s your inclination? Do you go home with the earrings or do you ponder over it for a while?
This was me in the time past and I witnessed it this weekend with a lady who spent over a half hour coming up with different stories about how the earrings need not go home with her.
The stories spanned from firstly winning her friend over to liking the piece of jewelry, then to is it the right shade of green? To Maybe they are too big? Maybe I won’t wear them again after the one occasion; maybe I’ll run into someone with the same earrings on; all the way to, I’m visiting Zanzibar in 4 years, maybe I’ll get mine then.
How many gyrations do you go through when you are faced with a decision?
Small or big? What keeps you from taking a hard stance and sticking to it and moving on with a decision?
I know; because like I mentioned, I’ve been there before and for everyone, the story is different. It is Fear! Fear lies behind people’s defensive attempts to preserve what they have. What they have might come in the form of a friend that you think “believes” you are cool. Could taking a hard stance on the earrings change the perception of your friend – uhmm, let’s not risk that. Let’s get friends’ buy in first.
That fear could come in the form of simply being afraid to let go of your paper money albeit in exchange for something you want. Or that fear could show up in you not believing you are worth the earrings, so you concoct all kinds of stories so that the minute your friend or even the buyer says, “oh, I understand what you are saying” – it’s a license to drop the jewelry.
As time goes on with you on your wheel of fear, you begin taking even greater aggressive efforts to win what you do not yet have – e.g. unconditional friend.
How many times in your professional life does this kind of indecisiveness show up? Often? Not Often? How do you get out of it?
How do you get out of this vile space? Because the space fosters comparison, lack of self confidence, indecisiveness, unsteadiness, non-productivity, and down right regret.
You must begin to learn the voices that come through you, Freedom or fear? Learn to trust yourself. Give yourself a chance. Surprise yourself with moving ahead on a decision in spite of the fear. And do not forget to top it off with an acknowledgement.
Ready to recognize your Voice of Freedom and your voice of Fear – Join my group at www.soweelevate.com