Blostering through the almost inconspicuous speakers, the music was quite low yet we could hear the danceable, energetic sounds. I tapped my feet to rhythm of the music while my cousin laid out on her back, belly, huge and round, filled up with a bundle of joy. We were back for another sonogram – so her stomach was exposed and all covered with gooey stuff, so we could see the little miracle.
Alicia, the sonogram technician was in the zone - with us, her one hand on the wand rubbing around the big belly and the other hand tapping away at the keyboard. She too pictures shots one after the other and sneaking in 2 steps to the music.
“There are his legs” I dreamily said as we pointed out each part of the baby’s body that we could easily identify. This was my cousin’s 2nd baby – I was there during many of her visits on the first child too.
Naturally, the conversation moved into caring for the baby when it got here and other things parents got involved with. I chimed in to the conversation and I must have made some kind of impression –one that gave off – she obviously knows what she’s talking about! Because Alicia paused and asked me – “How many kids do you have?”
“Oh! None!!, I don’t have any kids.” I confidently answered.
“Are you sure about that? Are you kidding me?? Are you serious? You must be nuts!!!” My cousin damn near vehemently replied to my answer. I was totally confused and quite frankly, so was Alicia. I looked around – What was going on here? “I’m sorry , do I have kids I don’t know about?” I mumbled under my breath.
Almost Crossed with me now, my cousin continues with her attention now to Alicia and she says “Pay her NO mind! She has kids!” I stood there dazed and confused and the she snipes right back at me “just because you didn’t birth them does not mean you do not have kids!! You have lots of kids!”
I felt like heart got rammed by trailer in that moment at the same time enveloped by rays of light; covered in goosebumps from head to toe, I was speechless. A part of me – the lesser part of me, felt and smirked - oh yeah, this is the pity story here; and those are just part of the thoughts that go on in my head - this can quickly escalate into some serious damaging negative self talk. - The thoughts continue - Your cousin just wants you to feel good because you do NOT have kids of your own. And then I had to get present with what was going on - it's either I stay in my head and succumb to this train wreck going on or accept, be grateful for the fact that my cousin sees me for more than just a cousin - And very quickly and timely, my higher self stepped in.
Yes, she was right! I was ….dare I say ..I am a mother in many ways. I have 7 nieces and nephews that know me very well; 11 God children and counting, and countless friends or other family members’ kids. I am surrounded by children that I deeply care for, some came forth through my bloodline and others not yet that does not deter me from helping nurture, love, and raise these children.
So on a weekend like this one – when I hear the echoes and chimes of “Happy Mother’s day” from my friends and family that purposely called me to tell that – I accept it. I take it on.
And because my heart has spaces for all the children in my life – I am even more passionate in supporting them to keep their lights on – their light dial of compassion, fun, expression, innocence, inner strength, generosity, and openness to be bold, productive, fearless citizens of the world.
So to the aunties out there that serve the children in their lives – Happy Mothers’ Day to you too!
I wear more than one hat and while I serve in those roles – they serve me as well - By blood, I’m an aunty, sister, daughter, cousin, sister in law and dare I say it, Yes, I’m a MOTHER.
What hat are you wearing today?
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